I’m coming to you today, because this topic has been coming up for my clients, which always means that this will be coming up for you too.
And so, I want to share some perspective on the butterfly feelings (that are kind of fluttery) and fear, because sometimes we have a hard time deciphering the two and I want you to get really clear on knowing which is which and deciding on what either of them are.
You can watch this video on here (insert video), or you can also see this my Facebook Group, The Women’s Side Hustle Society where I share more hot tips on this topic and lots more to help you build a successful business on the side.
I felt compelled to share this here today because it’s a message that everyone needs to hear, no matter where you are in life, we are dealing with fear and butterflies.
How are they the same and how are they different?
They come from the same source, that deep gut feeling and often a challenge or change that is coming (whether this is internal or external), when we are really challenged in some way. Whether it is a life-threatening challenge or something we’ve made up in our head, they still resonate the same in our body.
So, the source is the same. We feel it in our stomach, and usually fear is like this gut-wrenching feeling whereas butterflies is more of that excitement of “oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is actually happening” or “oh my gosh, I don’t know what to do in this moment”, like all of those fluttery feelings that sometimes we mistake as fear or as that life-threatening fear.
I want to ask you (you can comment below), do you get that feeling and do you know the difference between true fear and that butterfly feeling?
One way to do a “gut check” to decide between to two, is to ask yourself, does this feel expansive or constrictive? So, when you are getting those feelings, check in with yourself – do a body check. Even though it may feel scary, is it expansive and I feel excited and there’s the butterflies, does it feel that you can breathe through it? Does it feel like you don’t really know what’s on the other side, there’s a “newness” to it, like uncharted waters but if feels expansive.
That is a butterfly effect! (No, not THE butterfly effect, but you get my drift!) 😉
The next time this comes up for you, lean into it and challenge yourself to ask the questions, because like I said Fear and Butterflies come from the same place internally, and they stem from a place of doing things differently and from challenging the status quo or from up-levelling yourself, doing something different that you’ve never done before.
In the primal part of our brain, when we do something different or challenge ourselves, we are going to get that same feeling.
Whether it is that bear chasing you or it is you challenging yourself to approach something in a different way, or finally go and make that sales call, either way you have the same feelings. We need to decide between expansive or a constrictive feeling. If you feel like something is suffocating you and like everything is going to come crashing down, that is fear.
That’s not an excitement, butterfly expansive feeling. It is truly a fear, whether it is environmental or a mental fear, you are feeling the constriction and the super tightness and you can’t breathe through it. That is fear.
They show up differently, even though they stem from the same place.
My challenge for you this week is to figure out and play around with fear and butterflies.
I’ve had a couple of experiences with clients who are experiencing both sides of this, one is feeling fearful even though it’s something that she feels she needs to be doing, so there’s the borderline of fear and butterflies. And then another client who is feeling “oh my gosh, I totally need this, this is exciting, I’m kind of scared but I need to do it anyway, coz I know that nothing’s going to change unless I change.”
So, there’s the difference between the butterflies and the fear. And the other question to ask yourself around this is, “is it a threat?”. Fear comes from a threat, whether we are threatening the way we have always done something, threatening our mindset, threatening our physical body, or threatening our mental health – is it a threat? Can we move through that threat? And am I challenging myself to do something different?
If you are challenging yourself to do something different, remember that the definition of insanity (as said by Albert Einstein) is keep on doing the same thing and expecting different results! That is the definition of insanity!
The problem is from a very primal sense of our being, we feel safe when we do the same thing. That’s how we learn, it’s how we learned to evolve and to eat the red berries and not the purple poisonous berries, right – we knew how to stay safe. But when you are seeking change, you must challenge yourself.
I want you to do that mental body check, is it expansive or contractive? Is it a fear or is it just butterflies that I’m kind of assuming is fear? You really want to work through those.
That’s all I have for you in this video, I hope you enjoyed this topic – there’s been a lot of this coming up for people and a lot of stuff going on in the world, can we deal with fear and the true fears that are out there and are you willing to step up and deal with them?
One of my friends, Melody, loves to joke about my favourite topic being fear as I love to talk about it and address it and use fear as a compass and use fear to move through things, listen to fear and what it’s really saying so we can move through it. She is right! And as morbid as it sounds, I love this topic and it is one the primary things I tackle head on with my clients.
So, now I’d love to hear from you – do you know the difference between butterflies and fear? Have you ever done a gut check and what do you think about this topic?
Have a wonderful afternoon and if you haven’t joined The Women’s Side Hustle Society and you are a budding, ambitious entrepreneur (and a woman), please join us!
Cheers to your freedom!
PS – If you know deep inside you are ready for change and up-level your game in life and in business but have tons of fear coming up keeping you from moving forward and taking action. I got you. Let’s hop on a call to see how together we can address the fear, get you clear, and move on to the life and business you are dreaming about. Start here: http://bit.ly/fiercefreedomcall